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Bingers
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« on: May 17, 2010, 21:23:53 pm » |
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A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Marion .. Marion"
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No..........I'm a rabbit in Berkshire."
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The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2015
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Deepcut Cobbler
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« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2010, 03:37:56 am » |
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“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.” Laurence Binyon
The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2009
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wazzacobbler
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« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2010, 23:06:02 pm » |
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 showed that to my mate at work earlier and he hasn't stopped laughing yet!
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Host and Producer of the It's All Cobblers To Me podcast
@CobblersToMe @charlescommins
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Realale
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« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2010, 09:56:12 am » |
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Like it!
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Who ya gonna call, Scousebusters!!
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defender
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« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2016, 21:41:41 pm » |
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A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Marion .. Marion"
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No..........I'm a rabbit in Berkshire."
I missed this one, very, very, funny. |
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Bingers
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« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2016, 12:11:24 pm » |
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The old ones are always the best. You must be bored if your looking up jokes from over five years ago! |
The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2015
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defender
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« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2016, 06:47:42 am » |
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The old ones are always the best.
You must be bored if your looking up jokes from over five years ago!
No I'm not bored, just getting old and getting forgetfull, but it''s not al bad, if you forget about a joke, it makes you laugh a lot more times. |
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Bingers
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« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2016, 09:14:44 am » |
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This one is about death after sex:
Two women meet in the queue to get into heaven.
"How did a young good looking woman like you come to die then?" Asks one.
"I froze to death" she replies.
"Was it painful? "
"No, not at all, it was just like going to sleep really. How come you're here?"
"I was convinced my husband was having an affair, so I came home early from work one day to catch him out. He was sitting in front of the Telly like nothing was going on but I knew he was hiding a woman somewhere. I ran round the house looking for her, I looked in the cupboards, under the bed, under the stairs, in the wardrobe, the garage, everywhere. Nothing. The exertion gave me a massive coronary and here I am. I wish I hadn't been so suspicious. What do you wish?"
"I wish you'd looked in the freezer."
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The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2015
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