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Bingers
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« on: December 04, 2016, 21:09:16 pm » |
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There are some horrible bastards about. I heard a cat crying outside so I opened the door and four Boro inbreds were playing football with it. I was just about to phone the RSPCA when the cat went 1-0 up.
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The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2015
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dolph
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« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2016, 18:41:14 pm » |
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What`s the difference between a dead Pish fan in the road and a dead cat in the road?
There`s skid marks in front of the cat
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defender
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« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2017, 18:17:48 pm » |
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There are some horrible bastards about. I heard a cat crying outside so I opened the door and four Boro inbreds were playing football with it. I was just about to phone the RSPCA when the cat went 1-0 up.
We should sign that cat !!---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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Deepcut Cobbler
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« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2017, 22:45:07 pm » |
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A young Pos***e arrives at the gates of heaven and is met by St Peter.
He is welcomed and thanked for his support and told that heaven for him will be just like his home town with cheap beer, loose women and what ever else he wishes for!!!
The young Pos***e thinks for a bit and says to St Peter "Please no Cobblers fans, they have made my life hell and heaven to me would have no Cobblers fans." St Peter looks at him and says "OK no Cobblers fans I promise, now off you go and enjoy a pint "
The young Pos***e is enjoying his pint when all of a sudden the door gets kicked in by this big bloke in Claret and with a Cobblers scarf on. He grabs the young Pos***e holds him down, drinks his pint, kicks him in the head and laughs.
Seven days running this happens until the young Pos***e can't stand it any more and heads off to see St Peter.
The Pos***e explains everything that has happened, and says "You promised me no Cobblers fans." After a while St Peter asks the Pos***e "did the man have grey hair, white beard and a booming voice ??"
"Yes yes" the Pos***e replies and with that St Peter starts to laugh!!!
"That's not a Cobblers fan" he says, "that's God!!!
He just likes to think he's a Cobblers fan."
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“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.” Laurence Binyon
The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2009
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Deepcut Cobbler
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« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2018, 11:59:17 am » |
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Bumped into an old mate I hadn't seen for years earlier today.
I asked "What are you up to these days?"
He replied, "I prepare Meals for the Homeless, illegal Immigrants, Drug Addicts, Piss Heads, Down and Outs and Pos***es"
I said "Are you working in a Charity Drop-In Centre?"
He Says "No, I'm the head chef at Wetherspoons"
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“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.” Laurence Binyon
The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2009
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