I’m not being flippant about dementia Bob, I’m genuinely concerned, about you. I need you to do something for me Bob. I need you to stay away from this IdleBantam character. He’s no good for you Bob. Sure he may have introduced you to his sweet old dad and walked with you to the match but thats all part of his evil plot Bob. Next thing you know he’ll be inviting you in for a cup of tea with an offer to show you his Bantam memorabilia (except they call it a brew up there Bob, remember that, it’s one of the ways to tell them apart).
Trust me Bob I’m telling you this for your own good. Just because half their kit is claret doesn’t mean they can be trusted. A friend of mind was lured in and almost converted in the same way. He was innocently walking back to his car after the match when this cunning Bantam supporter offered him a chip – with GRAVY Bob, can you believe that. Within 12 months my friend was a black belt in Ecky Thump and couldn’t even finish his breakfast unless it included black pudding – I’m talking about with his cornflakes Bob.
Fortunately, we saved him before it was too late. He has since formed an awareness group for those less fortunate. They call themselves the ‘North of Watford Team’ or NOWT for short. Let me give you their number Bob, or at least let me make you aware of the signs to watch out for. Pidgeon droppings on the back doorstep, a whippet kennel in the back yard, or signing off your posts with UTB.
Oh no Bob, I think it may too late for you!
Welcome home Abraham Anstruther!