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Dave

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« on: March 08, 2019, 21:47:39 pm »

Bloke goes for a high powered executives position. At the end of the interview the CEO asks the standard “why should I give you the position”. The bloke answers “because I personally know every famous person and person of influence on earth”. “Impossible” says the CEO. “Try me” says the bloke. “Alright, how about Tom Cruise”? “The Cruisemeister, best mates” says the bloke. “So you’re telling me if we fly out to LA and knock on Toms door he’ll greet you with open arms” says the CEO? “Correct” says the bloke. “This I’ve got to see” says the CEO, so he flys them out to LA. On arrival they get a cab round to Toms house and knock on the door. Tom answers the door and says “Dave, what a surprise” and in they go for a cup of tea. Afterwards the CEO says “has to be a fluke, you can’t know everyone”? “Try me” says Dave. “Alright, what about Donald Trump? “The Donmeister” says Dave, “we’re as close as you can get”. “This I’ve got to see” says the CEO, so off they fly to Washington. They get to the White House and speak to the CIA agent on the gate. “Can you tell the President that Dave and his entourage are here” says the CEO in a mocking tone. “What the Dave” says the CIA agent? “Er I suppose so” says the CEO now a bit shocked? “One moment” says the CIA agent who following a brief chat into his microphone beckons them inside. They enter the Oval Office and Donald Trump is sat there and says “Dave what a surprise”. After a cup of tea Dave and the CEO are stood outside. “You can’t know everyone” says the CEO? “Try me” says Dave. “Alright, what about the Pope”? “The Franmeister” says Dave, “we’re blood brothers”. “This I have to see” says the CEO. So they fly off to the Vatican. The Pope is about to give a sermon in St Peters square and a large crowd has gathered. “Wait here” says Dave. The CEO stands in the square and all of a sudden Dave appears alongside the Pope waiving to the crowd from the balcony. Dave looks down and sees the CEO lying on the floor next to none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. Dave rushes outside and Arnie says “friend of yours Dave”? “What happened” says Dave? “Dunno, think he’s had a heart attack” says Arnie? “I just turned to him and said, who the fcuks that on the balcony with Dave”?
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