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Pilgrammage

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« on: February 19, 2023, 22:11:29 pm »

Jenrick and Arthur arrived at the Sixfield Castle Gate.  They had been told to arrive at 1200.  The year was 1155. 5 years early.  Jenrick had pushed the barrow up the hill; and Arthur, now, hopped from foot to foot in nervous anticipation, hoping that he wouldn't face testing questions.

A rough-looking giant with a sneer demanded: "Name!"

"Hyl-ton!", shouted Jenrick in reply.  Well, more of a squeal, really.  Arthur had never known that his Uncle, with his deep baritione and considered voice, could squeak out such an announcement.  And, he wondered: "Who is Hyl-ton?"

The giant checked his scroll, running his finger over every letter and trying to form the words in his mouth to match the cluster of shapes under his finger-nail.

A moment passed.  Jenrick & Arthur held their breathes.... the giant's finger-nail worked its way up and down and left and right, until it seemed that the list might wear out and become part of the air that that gasped into their lungs.

Suddenly, the Giant shouted "Hill and Ton!"

"Yes that's us", shouted Jenrick in his clear tones.

"Enter!" announced the Giant.

So, Jenrick and Arthur stepped forth into the Castle Sixfields Grounds ; Arthur kept his head down to avoid questions.

<commercial gap>

Joan Smarthair's fingers were crossed behind her back.  It was the usual... losing 0-1 at home to no-hopers.  The crowd were baying for blood.  Hopefully, no-one would notice that she would bring on 2 lame-ducks at the same time, changing like for like, and with little hope of affecting the end result?Huh?..........In the 71st minute?Huh???  What idiot would do that, she thought.  Her fingers already counting the imaginary money behind her back.  The board went-up.... the ref's whistle blew.  But, toooooo late, on came wassis-name & thingy.....the 72nd minute.   Whoever they were, Smarthair could not remember their names.  Flipperty-gibbet! She'd missed her BetTit bet-time Bet for subs by a margin of 1 minute!  That had cost her a pretty-penny or two!

And so, the game played out as a drab 0-1.

Smarthair was beside herself at the end of the game.

The fans might feel cheated having watched that s***e.  But, that was nothing.  She'd missed out on a packet because the ref blew for subs 1 min too late.  "Who was paying him?", she wondered. The bastard!  "I'll get him." The words played over & over in her head.





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