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Alistair Slowe

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« Reply #680 on: November 07, 2013, 16:13:15 pm »

Guys, you will not believe this, the other day me and my mates were having a debate about who is the worst player to ever play for our Saturday side.  This was Worthing league div 2, we were basically a pub team called Highdown rovers , no longer going.  Any way , we unanimously decided on ' alastair slowe' . The kid didn't even get a game he was that bad. Showed up every week in a Newcastle kit , could not kick a ball, I mean literally , would miss it if it was rolled to him.  So we googled him to see he was on Facebook and found this!! So the worst player I've played with turns out to be the only pro player I've played with. Amazing !!!
I think we put Alistair down as "a late developer"  Wink
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« Reply #681 on: May 27, 2014, 16:28:37 pm »

What's the latest on mr slowe?
Is he likely to be appearing for an African nation in the forthcoming world cup Grin
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« Reply #682 on: May 27, 2014, 16:32:23 pm »

I wondered why his picture was on the Ghana pages of my WC Panini Album?
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« Reply #683 on: November 06, 2016, 15:56:08 pm »

Sorry to bring up an old thread (and possibly some painful memories), but Alistair has now signed for my home team, Anagennisi Deryneia in Cyprus. I don't think he's played yet, but did get 3 appearances for Ayia Napa last season. So, is he really as inept as suggested? Oh, he came on as a last minute sub today in a 2-0 defeat.
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« Reply #684 on: November 06, 2016, 16:17:05 pm »

Sorry to bring up an old thread (and possibly some painful memories), but Alistair has now signed for my home team, Anagennisi Deryneia in Cyprus. I don't think he's played yet, but did get 3 appearances for Ayia Napa last season. So, is he really as inept as suggested? Oh, he came on as a last minute sub today in a 2-0 defeat.

We've no idea, he never actually made it onto the pitch for us, read into that what you will. He always looked terrible in the warm ups if that's of any interest.... Grin
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« Reply #685 on: November 06, 2016, 16:26:32 pm »

Just saw his "highlights" video on youtube ( I think while playing for Ayia Napa). Consisted of him taking several throw ins, free kicks and corners and running awkwardly. If he plays in our next match on Nov 20 I'll give you an update!
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« Reply #686 on: November 06, 2016, 17:30:58 pm »

Just to say that if ever he gets a goal, he WILL make it onto the Former Cobblers Exploits Chart, regardless of the level he plays at.
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« Reply #687 on: November 06, 2016, 18:25:26 pm »

Just to say that if ever he gets a goal, he WILL make it onto the Former Cobblers Exploits Chart, regardless of the level he plays at.
I wonder about you sometimes Bingers, do you really rate Alistair Slowe above Langers  Huh? Smiley
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« Reply #688 on: November 06, 2016, 18:52:38 pm »

No, not in the slightest, but:

"The Hotel End reserves the right to make the rules up as it goes along."

 Kiss
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« Reply #689 on: November 08, 2016, 12:05:34 pm »

Just saw his "highlights" video on youtube ( I think while playing for Ayia Napa). Consisted of him taking several throw ins, free kicks and corners and running awkwardly. If he plays in our next match on Nov 20 I'll give you an update!

I could put together a better highlight reel than Slowe. For one, I have landed at least one throw-in on a teammates head and touched the ball in open play (without simply hoofing it up the line).

He's landed a contract with you either through bribary or deception and he wouldn't even make the starting line up of the fans team.
He's also masssivley dillusional. I saw him out one night and he told me that he was on the brink of breaking in to the Cobblers first team but had a big bust up with the management - that was the only reason he hadn't made a first team appearance.

On the plus side, he will be hilarious to watch.
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« Reply #690 on: November 08, 2016, 12:32:53 pm »

...but had a big bust up with the management - that was the only reason he hadn't made a first team appearance....

I knew that there was a reason...
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« Reply #691 on: November 23, 2016, 11:17:39 am »

Didn't even make the bench on Sunday. We have 1 point from 11 games, which is almost half a season here, so may as well play him now to give us a bit of a laugh.
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« Reply #692 on: December 06, 2016, 08:41:54 am »

Didn't even make the bench on Sunday. We have 1 point from 11 games, which is almost half a season here, so may as well play him now to give us a bit of a laugh.

Any further updates for us?  Grin
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« Reply #693 on: December 06, 2016, 19:58:42 pm »

Any further updates for us?  Grin

http://uk.soccerway.com/players/alistair-slowe/148070/

This shows he has made one substitute appearance this season (the one referred to above, last minute sub?) but he has managed to pick up a yellow card!!

http://uk.soccerway.com/matches/2016/12/03/cyprus/1-division/anagennisi-fc-deryneia-/aek-larnaca/2270140/?ICID=PL_MS_05

This shows he did make the bench for their latest game, a creditable 0-0 draw against League leaders AEK Larnaca, watched by a bumper crowd of 600.

http://uk.soccerway.com/national/cyprus/1-division/20162017/regular-season/r35996/

They are still bottom of the first division, although they have drawn their last two games now, still searching for a League win, however they did beat 2nd Division side Paphos 3-2 after extra time in the Cyprus FA Cup!!
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« Reply #694 on: January 03, 2017, 17:30:41 pm »

Hi guys! He came on as an 89th minute sub against APOEL tonight. We lost 4-2 but came back from 0-3 to 2-3 at one point. We still haven't won a league game but we could still turn it around. Got any decent big strikers we could borrow? And yes, the financial aspect is very prevalent, if you know what I mean. At the end of the day, Deryneia is a small village, and even smaller since the Turks came in in 1974, (google Varosha) and we are playing teams from Nicosia, Limassol and Larnaca - a bit like Northampton playing Man U and Chelsea every week! We have to play at Paralimni's ground because our stadium isn't good enough, and we rely on donations to put a team out every week. So if Daddy has some cash, we'll take it! Still, as I always say - my village, my team!
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« Reply #695 on: January 03, 2017, 17:34:45 pm »

And if you want to hear our club anthem - this is it...
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« Reply #696 on: January 03, 2017, 21:21:22 pm »

Hi guys! He came on as an 89th minute sub against APOEL tonight.
Daddy must have paid extra, for that.
Did he actually touch the ball?
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« Reply #697 on: January 04, 2017, 08:50:02 am »

Think he may have had a couple of touches. Played at left back. At the moment he has officially less minutes on the pitch (2) than appearances (3), and his booking came in our excellent 2-2 draw against Omonia Nicosia (Matt Derbyshire (remember him) got both their goals - one of which was offside). Mind you the ref was booking our players for anything and everything that day. I think he has actually come on 4 times though - Omonia (H), Nea Salamis (A), Omonia (A), and APOEL (H). Further updates when applicable.
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« Reply #698 on: January 08, 2017, 14:04:30 pm »

Think he may have had a couple of touches. Played at left back. At the moment he has officially less minutes on the pitch (2) than appearances (3), and his booking came in our excellent 2-2 draw against Omonia Nicosia (Matt Derbyshire (remember him) got both their goals - one of which was offside). Mind you the ref was booking our players for anything and everything that day. I think he has actually come on 4 times though - Omonia (H), Nea Salamis (A), Omonia (A), and APOEL (H). Further updates when applicable.

Did not expect Derbyshire to be there! Assumed he would be knocking about in the Championship somewhere.
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« Reply #699 on: January 08, 2017, 18:57:13 pm »

I heard a rumour that Andy Melville was at the latest Anagennisi Deryneia game and he's lined up a good young utility man for us !!!
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