I once..

[TheEdgeyMole]

Stole a sherbert dib dab from Woolworths, I look back on the incident and regret my actions but at the time I thought I was f***ing cool and boy did I enjoy that dib dab.

[southofthecounty]

.....once ran over a very expensive tree belonging to a prominent member of the House of Lords whilst driving a tractor far too quickly on his country estate. I dug it up and re planted it with the break below soil level. It took weeks to die, and I got away with it.
That was more than 25 years ago, and I've always felt guilty.

[Deepcut Cobbler]

This could be the record longest thread......

[Tyro]

Back in 1996 I accidently ran over a badger within the grounds of a country estate I was working in. Feeling somewhat guilty about it I picked the badger up and hid it in a shed that I knew hardly anyone went into. Imagine my horror six weeks later when one of the gardeners decides to go looking for something within the shed. From what I was told he opened the door and was greeted with many flies and thousands of maggots. Needless to say the shed was pulled down and to this day those involved in this deed were never found out.   

[Gerard_Lavin]

picked up a tyre and threw it somebodies garden when i was pissed, feel bad about it now

[wrigleys]

...threw up on a Holborn tube station platform in the middle of rush hour. Oh, and had paramedics called out when I passed out on the Liverpool Street concourse and then I ran off.

Drink is a dangerous thing 

[Monkey]

(more than once)...stole the same sign from a shop in Northampton.
Serves them right for not securing it properly the first 8 or 9 times.

I used to take signs quite a lot... once dragging one back to a charity building on a Sunday morning after feeling guilty about it. My best steal was a Northamptonshire Police sign and my friend had a bus stop in his garden for over a year.

[Tyro]

Many years ago when I first learnt to drive I met up with a girl and took her to a secluded area after a night out and started to get that jiggy feeling going on the back seat of the car only to be rudely interrupted by the boys in blue

After a short while I discovered the girl in question was under age and had been detained at the Campbell Centre in Milton Keynes which for those of you that don't know is a place they keep minors who are in trouble or are somewhat lacking the right mind set.

Boy did I have a squeaky bottom that night

[memyhead]

had a dream Jake Robinson scored a goal for NTFC. Honestly, he really did score! 

[Wolvo]

I once woke up in my garden inside a trolley my mates help me steal from Asda ...

[betamax toploader]

Going back a few years, i was working for a large car body repair shop in Numpton. We had a vehicle in with a large amount of rear end damage, which necessitated the removal of the carpets and seats. At this point, i discovered that the vehicle belonged to a Mr M Griggs of somewhere near Rushden. Gleefully seizing the opportunity, myself and a like-minded workmate graffited the inner floor area with lots of anti Diamond slogans, before refitting said carpets and seats. I did smile as he drove away.
I would like to say that at no point, before,during,or afterwards, did i feel any guilt whatsoever.

[wrigleys]

Many years ago when I first learnt to drive I met up with a girl and took her to a secluded area after a night out and started to get that jiggy feeling going on the back seat of the car only to be rudely interrupted by the boys in blue

After a short while I discovered the girl in question was under age and had been detained at the Campbell Centre in Milton Keynes which for those of you that don't know is a place they keep minors who are in trouble or are somewhat lacking the right mind set.

Boy did I have a squeaky bottom that night

Ha ha yes I had a similar experience to that on Brampton Lane in a Ford Escort. The police car drew alongside and luckily decided that shining a light through the window was enough punishment. I'm sure they didn't enjoy the sight of my white spotty arse

[Tyro]

Again in my younger days I was out night clubbing and was getting sloshed beyond belief and I got talking to this woman and managed to persuade her to take me back to her place for a quickie. We eventually get up to the bedroom and I'm in a state of undress as I attempt to wriggle her out of her clothes and when I am suddenly stopped dead in my tracks as I put my hand inside her knickers only to discover a hairy pair of bollocks and a cock as long as a donkeys. I remember falling down the stairs with my boxer shorts round my ankles as I made my escape back to my car. 

[wrigleys]

Again in my younger days I was out night clubbing and was getting sloshed beyond belief and I got talking to this woman and managed to persuade her to take me back to her place for a quickie. We eventually get up to the bedroom and I'm in a state of undress as I attempt to wriggle her out of her clothes and when I am suddenly stopped dead in my tracks as I put my hand inside her knickers only to discover a hairy pair of bollocks and a **** as long as a donkeys. I remember falling down the stairs with my boxer shorts round my ankles as I made my escape back to my car. 

I'm struggling to believe this one.... 

[Deepcut Cobbler]

I'm struggling to believe this one.... 

I'm not of Tryo..

[The 12th Marquis of Sixfields]

Once, at night, riding my bike down the path on Bants lane I threw an apple, thinking it'd just land in a garden. It didn't. It went through some poor sods window. I laughed at the time but looking back it was probably a bad thing to do

[sbedscobb]

Once broke my wrist sneaking into the Spion kop in 1973 whilst being chased by some fat copper, returned next week with several others and successfully crept down several gardens avoiding fat copper and scaled the large wall, rolling under the barbed wire and dropping 10 feet into the Spion kop, all with a plaster caste, Bast ards couldn't stop me
It was regarded as a sport back then, The kop end was the easiest, the Hotel end much harder, you had to creep through several gardens and avoid barbed wire then drop into the bog, never went down well with people taking a pee and usually the coppers grabbed you before you reached the hotel end steps.
But the real mission impossible was to climb over the cricket side and run the full length of the cricket pitch in full view of everyone, it couldn't be done solo, so several sneakerinners would make a mad dash for the hotel end avoiding stewards and coppers size nines, only 2 or 3 would make it the rest would get a thick ear.
So don't moan at your kids for spending hours on the xbox because that was one of our alternatives!

[Ralap]

I made successful cricketside runs on a few occasions. One time I thought I was going to die because I didn't see the rope around the wicket area and took myself out at thigh height and full pelt. I think I landed on my chest and face. I don't remember a lot after that only that breathing didn't seem an option.

[BackOfTheNet]

...threw up on a Holborn tube station platform in the middle of rush hour. Oh, and had paramedics called out when I passed out on the Liverpool Street concourse and then I ran off.

Drink is a dangerous thing 

I've peed off the end of the platform at Kings Cross because I was too drunk to find a toilet.

[BackOfTheNet]

(more than once)...stole the same sign from a shop in Northampton.
Serves them right for not securing it properly the first 8 or 9 times.

I used to take signs quite a lot... once dragging one back to a charity building on a Sunday morning after feeling guilty about it. My best steal was a Northamptonshire Police sign and my friend had a bus stop in his garden for over a year.

 

Not a sign as such, but me and my mates once took one of those orange flashing lights off the top of a road cone after a night out and then drove home with this light pulsing away, lighting the whole car orange because we couldn't turn it off. Another night my mate wanted some cones for some football coaching he was doing at the time so we pulled up next to some roadworks and took the lot!

A final piece of street furniture removal that springs to mind is one I can't take credit for. We once had a scavenger hunt as part of a team building event in Hitchin where each team was given a list of items to procure from around the town. One item on the list was something from the roadworks that were going on. We got a cone, as did most teams, some others got a chunk of pavement or a bit of tape but one team went the extra mile and turned up with the piece de resistance - a f***ing massive give way to oncoming traffic sign!  I think they might have regretted that event given the sheer level of vandalism and petty theft it generated, not to mention the associated complaints!