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Little Johnny Jokes....

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Author Topic: Little Johnny Jokes....  (Read 363 times)
Deepcut Cobbler
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« on: September 19, 2013, 12:20:59 pm »

Little Johnny walks into his parents room and see his dad giving his mum one, his dad just laughs and throws a pillow at Johnny and shouts "get out"! A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's room, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran..

Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it"Huh?
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“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
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« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2013, 12:34:07 pm »

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.
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“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
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Laurance Binyon

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« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2016, 19:53:53 pm »

Little Johnny has a sick dog called Rex
 After a visit to the Vet, his Dad tells Little Johnny that Rex will not live more than another month
“But Rex wouldn’t want you to be sad” said his Dad “He’d want you to have happy memories of him”
“Can we give him a funeral?” asked Johnny
“Of course you can” said his Father
“And can I invite all my friends?” asked Johnny
“Yes, certainly” replied Dad
“And can we have cake and ice cream?” asked Johnny
“You can have all the cake and ice cream you want” said his dad
“Dad” said Little Johnny “Can we put Rex down today?” …
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“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.”
Laurance Binyon

The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2009
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« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2017, 12:03:10 pm »

"Well children, I'd like you all to take out your exercise books and pencils" said the teacher.
Little Johnny put up his hand and said "I ain't got no Fcuking pencil Miss"
"No no Johnny" said the teacher trying to ignore his blaspheme.  "You must never use a double negative.  It should be, I HAVE no pencil; HE has no pencil, SHE has no pencil; WE have no pencils... do you understand?"
"Yes" said Johnny, "So who's got all the Fcuking pencils then Miss?"
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« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2017, 16:01:13 pm »


 Little Johnny meets a little girl when he is walking to school, ''Where are you going'' he said the girl replied ''I'm bleeding'' whee She lifts her skirt up and ' says from my mini He said ''I not surprised embody has cut yur **** of''
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« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2017, 14:11:33 pm »

"Well children", continued the teacher "let's learn the alphabet. Can anyone give me a word beginning with the letter A?"
"Ar$ehole Miss" shouted little Johnny.
Ignoring him, the teacher turned to a little girl with her hand raised, "Yes Samantha?"
"Apple Miss" said the little girl.
"Very good" said the teacher, "now who can give me a word beginning with the letter B?"
"Bo||ocks Miss" shouted little Johnny.
Once again the teacher turned to another pupil with their hand raised, "Yes Jacob?"
"Boomerang Miss" said Jacob.
"Excellent word" said the teacher, "now what about the letter C anyone?"
"C~nt Miss" shouted little Johnny, "surely it's gotta be C~nt."
"Johnny!" Said the teacher, please do not shout out your answers. If you have an answer raise your hand like everyone else...  What is your word Sarah?" She asked another girl.
"Coach Miss" said the little girl.
"Thank you Sarah very good.  Now who can give me a word beginning with the letter D?"
"ooh I know" said little Johnny raising his hand. "Please Miss, me me me"...
The teacher paused and thought to herself 'surely there isn't a swear word beginning with D,' and so finally said "OK Johnny, what is your word?"
"Dwarf" shouted  Johnny, "with a huge pr:ck and hairy bo||ocks!"
« Last Edit: October 29, 2017, 16:38:28 pm by Buster » Report Spam   Logged
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