The Hotel End
December 05, 2024, 00:38:17 am
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
  Home Help Search Arcade Downloads Gallery Links Staff List Calendar Login Register Chat  

Little Johnny Jokes....

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Little Johnny Jokes....  (Read 2231 times)
Deepcut Cobbler
Administrator
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 15312



View Profile
Badges: (View All)
« on: September 19, 2013, 11:20:59 am »

Little Johnny walks into his parents room and see his dad giving his mum one, his dad just laughs and throws a pillow at Johnny and shouts "get out"! A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's room, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran..

Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it"Huh
Report Spam   Logged

“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.” Laurence Binyon

The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2009

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter

Deepcut Cobbler
Administrator
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 15312



View Profile
Badges: (View All)
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2013, 11:34:07 am »

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.
Report Spam   Logged

“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.” Laurence Binyon

The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2009
Deepcut Cobbler
Administrator
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 15312



View Profile
Badges: (View All)
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2016, 18:53:53 pm »

Little Johnny has a sick dog called Rex
 After a visit to the Vet, his Dad tells Little Johnny that Rex will not live more than another month
“But Rex wouldn’t want you to be sad” said his Dad “He’d want you to have happy memories of him”
“Can we give him a funeral?” asked Johnny
“Of course you can” said his Father
“And can I invite all my friends?” asked Johnny
“Yes, certainly” replied Dad
“And can we have cake and ice cream?” asked Johnny
“You can have all the cake and ice cream you want” said his dad
“Dad” said Little Johnny “Can we put Rex down today?” …
Report Spam   Logged

“They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.” Laurence Binyon

The Hotelend Grand National Sweepstake Champion 2009
Buster
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 350


View Profile
Badges: (View All)
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2017, 11:03:10 am »

"Well children, I'd like you all to take out your exercise books and pencils" said the teacher.
Little Johnny put up his hand and said "I ain't got no Fcuking pencil Miss"
"No no Johnny" said the teacher trying to ignore his blaspheme.  "You must never use a double negative.  It should be, I HAVE no pencil; HE has no pencil, SHE has no pencil; WE have no pencils... do you understand?"
"Yes" said Johnny, "So who's got all the Fcuking pencils then Miss?"
Report Spam   Logged
defender
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 3691


View Profile
Badges: (View All)
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2017, 15:01:13 pm »


 Little Johnny meets a little girl when he is walking to school, ''Where are you going'' he said the girl replied ''I'm bleeding'' whee She lifts her skirt up and ' says from my mini He said ''I not surprised embody has cut yur cock of''
Report Spam   Logged
Buster
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 350


View Profile
Badges: (View All)
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2017, 13:11:33 pm »

"Well children", continued the teacher "let's learn the alphabet. Can anyone give me a word beginning with the letter A?"
"Ar$ehole Miss" shouted little Johnny.
Ignoring him, the teacher turned to a little girl with her hand raised, "Yes Samantha?"
"Apple Miss" said the little girl.
"Very good" said the teacher, "now who can give me a word beginning with the letter B?"
"Bo||ocks Miss" shouted little Johnny.
Once again the teacher turned to another pupil with their hand raised, "Yes Jacob?"
"Boomerang Miss" said Jacob.
"Excellent word" said the teacher, "now what about the letter C anyone?"
"C~nt Miss" shouted little Johnny, "surely it's gotta be C~nt."
"Johnny!" Said the teacher, please do not shout out your answers. If you have an answer raise your hand like everyone else...  What is your word Sarah?" She asked another girl.
"Coach Miss" said the little girl.
"Thank you Sarah very good.  Now who can give me a word beginning with the letter D?"
"ooh I know" said little Johnny raising his hand. "Please Miss, me me me"...
The teacher paused and thought to herself 'surely there isn't a swear word beginning with D,' and so finally said "OK Johnny, what is your word?"
"Dwarf" shouted  Johnny, "with a huge pr:ck and hairy bo||ocks!"
« Last Edit: October 29, 2017, 15:38:28 pm by Buster » Report Spam   Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by EzPortal
Parental guidance is urged as this messageboard may not be suitable for all persons especially those under the age of 16 as the forums may contain words, phrases and expressions not considered appropriate for a younger audience so please express caution. If any posts in the forums offend you, please let us know and we will look at them and if we agree with your complaint, we will remove them. You are personally responsible and potentially liable for the contents of your posting and may be sued should your posting contain content of a defamatory or other illegal nature. Every message posted leaves a traceable IP number. We check the forums at various times of the day and remove offending posts. Other supporters are welcome but abusive or silly posts will be removed and the offenders potentially barred from future access to the site. We advise that you never reveal any personal information about yourself or anyone else (for example: telephone number, home address or email address), and please do not include postal addresses of any kind. This messageboard is not endorsed or in any way affiliated with Northampton Town FC. All postings on this board become copyright of The Hotel End & may not be reproduced without the permission of the board administrator. By signing up to this message board you agree to this. The Hotel End cannot be held liable for the actions or postings of its members. The Hotel End reserve the right to edit, delete, move or close any thread for any reason. The Hotel End may disclose user information to government authorities at their discretion or when required by law. The Hotel End may also disclose user information when The Hotel End has reason to believe that someone is causing injury to or interference with its rights or property, other The Hotel End users, or anyone else that could be harmed by such activities. By registering for The Hotel End, you agree to indemnify The Hotel End its representatives, and agents, and hold them harmless from any and all claims (including claims for legal fees) which may arise from your participation on the The Hotel End. You also agree that The Hotel End is not responsible for the materials posted by users of The Hotel End. In addition, you grant The Hotel End and its affiliates, worldwide, royalty-free perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive right and license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display any message or content posted on The Hotel End and/or e-mail sent by you to The Hotel End (in whole or in part). The Hotel End reserves the right to make the rules up as it goes along. Thank you - The Hotel End I love Quidco
Bookmark this site!
Powered by SMF | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines
Privacy Policy